areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
