You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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