i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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