Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
