we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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