pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
