so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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