I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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