then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
