my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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