the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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