My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
