Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
