Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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