I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
