Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I want is dick and wine.
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