Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
