I'm eating all of the evidence.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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