its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
