first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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