Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
