If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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