dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My feet surprised me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
