Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
