Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
