Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Shame - the story of my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
