Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
