You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
