Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
