I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
