Pappa wants mamma naked
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
