that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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