it glows. i had to have it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
