somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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