Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This house was built for laser tag.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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