He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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