party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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