watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm too high and old for this...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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