A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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