If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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