just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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