I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
