hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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