I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
