Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
