so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
