y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
BRING THE BAGELS
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
