oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
