I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
