and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
