so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
