So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
